You Don't Come and Tell Me that MONEY is Not Imporartant

It's been a while since I last blogged (probably because I couldn't find something nice to talk about) but now I'm back, with something that has been bothering me since the start of the career as a student in UChicago.

I don't even know where to start...

Let's just start with me (when I was young)...
My mum used to tell me, "With money, you don't have to be afraid that you can't get the things that you want" and it was the phrase she used to convince me with, so that I would study hard and by studying hard, I will probably end up with a job that gives me a fat paycheck. That said, I would dare say that I was (and sadly still am) a passionless robot. I do not what I am chasing for. I used to chase for money. But coming here, people started asking me "what is it that I really want?". I would just say money (but I know I can't because it is not a good answer). It is even socially wrong just to crave for more money. And then when I asked more people regarding the subject matter, they will ask me more questions, such as "What do you want to do with all the money?", "Do you think you can be happy with all the money?", and "What if you are rich but not happy, would you still want to be rich?". I can easily come out with answers to these questions; I would answer "I can do anything I want that requires money (especially when the thing that I want to do requires a huge amount of money) and I do understand that if I'm not rich enough, I probably can't do the thing that I want to", "Why not?" and "Two can play the 'what if' game' - 'what if I am rich AND happy?' " to the aforementioned questions respectively.

And then, I just feel like giving up on being rich. Here comes the BIG problem: why am I doing what I'm doing now? This sounds like a "What is the meaning of life" question. Having read Aristotle, I would agree with him that to believe that I am happy is itself being happy. However, I have to understand that there should be an aim of which I should work towards and the process of working towards that aim should be my source of happiness (for which the aim should not be possible to achieve or there is no end to this aim). The thing is, I no longer have this aim.

So, if I were to work REALLY HARD in my 3 or 4 years in college so that I can get into a top investment bank, which pays $75,000 (annually) as a staring pay, then it is to aim for money. If i were to chill and lay back in my college life, then I'll still live a good life back in Malaysia (considering the fact that I'll have my double math-econ degree from UChicago). It just seems to me that if I decide not to go for the money i.e. the positions in investment banks (or consulting firms), then I might as well just relax and don't overdo myself. I personally don't like the latter option because it is just a waste of time. In fact, if I do not care about money, then I do not know why did I study so hard in high school and even applied to UChicago. The fact that I applied to UChicago actually means that I want to be in a top school. I stopped and wondered, why did getting a top school matter so much to me? If i want to relax and live a laid back life, then I wouldn't even spend so much effort on trying to get into a good school. What is the difference between then (when I was applying for schools) and now? I can swear that I never once had the thought that I want to stop striving when I was applying for college (eventhough it was pretty tough back then). I only thought that every thing that I have to go through would be worth while when I'm in a top school. That said, I will always try to outdo myself. So, if that is the ladder that I have built for myself, why do I give up what I have started when I'm already half way there? Questions... So many questions... but no answer.

This then bring me to the issue of graduating in 3 years or 4 years. This is a "Why" question for both the choices. It's like, "Why do you want to graduate in 3 years? What's the use of going back to Malaysia one year earlier? Why do you want to end your (once in a lifetime) college life so fast?" As for graduating in 4 years, it's like "Why do you want to graduate in 4 years? Why do you want to STUDY for one more year?" It appears to me that these two choices are just a matter of preference. At least I can say that I am indifferent between the both of them (for now).

Last but not least, a (few) friend(s) of mine told me that I should grab hold of the opportunities that I have here (in US) so that I can learn more and bring the knowledge back with me when I go back to Malaysia. However, if I happen to be the laid back person I mentioned earlier, then I don't even need to do that much because my aim would then be to be a laid back person and the process that would make me happy is not to overdo myself. On the other hand, if I happen to be the go-getter that I mentioned earlier, then I should do as much as I can while I'm here because my aim would then be to a top shot (also known as a "successful person" from where I came from) and the process that would make happy is to keep on striving for it. That said, can a laid back person be a successful person? So, I guess I'm not really happy now because I haven't chosen the aim that I want and thus I have not decided the choice of person that I want to be which all leads to me not being able to reach my life-long aim - and thus not being happy.

Clit-terally.com :D

So, one of my housemates bought a domain and started her own blog. YUP, she PAID for a domain. (some commitment there) I like how she puts the three lips on her blog as the first thing that you'll see. Not to mention her pretty bad-ass "suck on that" under the clit... haha

So Many Things To Learn (and Do) But So Little Time

There are a few things that i want to do this quarter but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get them done. :|

Back From The Real World...

Hi Peeps,
It's been quite a while since i last blogged... (Er, sorry)

So, what have YOU done for spring break (if you have one that is)?
Me? Oh, i went to Bahamas, nuff said :D
My Spring break started on Friday morning, when i left at 4.30am from Regents Park (an apartment in Hyde Park where a friend of mine is staying in) to downtown Chicago to take the Greyhound bus. I went to Michigan Ann Arbor. The campus is ENORMOUS! UChicago is so small compared to UMich. So I visited a friend of mine, Fuhan, and just chilled in his place the whole weekend. I remember him saying "I like how you come all the way from Chicago and paid $55.00 just to chill in my room". I seriously enjoyed it - because we were doing nothing. I just wanted to chill and do nothing after all that Hume and Sosc papers. We went out for lunch and dinner everyday and by went out, i mean ate good food. I must say, at the end of my visit to his place, we complained that we spent too much in that weekend alone - considering there was actually not much to do there. Their "downtown" is just a street with restaurants... AHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Well, if that is the case, the Hyde Park has many downtownS... So yea, basically i just hung out in his room, talked to my friend (a lot - with a lot of laughter in between) and walked around the campus (reluctantly - after being reminded that i actually paid to go there and that i won't be going there again). I returned to Hyde Park on that Sunday and arrived at 9pm.

So i went back to my friend's apartment in Regents, did my laundry, packed for Bahamas and off i flew :D
I like how we did one thing a day in Bahamas (not having a packed schedule) and thus making it a more relaxing trip.
One the first day, we went downtown, which is also just a street.
On the second day, we went to Atlantis Resort where we played in its casino and took pictures with 6-foot tall waves at its beach.
On the third day, we went snorkeling in three different spots. The first was a plane crash site, the second was a place with coral reefs and the third place was a place where sharks chill. Yup, i snorkeled with sharks right below me. And of course, all of these places have a lot of beautiful fishes. Unfortunately, i didn't get to see a nice shark-eats-fish scene at the third spot. That would be epic!
On the fourth day, we went jet-skiing and sun-tanning at a beach where the water was very calm.
On the fifth day, we went shopping.
On the sixth day, we went back to Chicago.
That's all :D

So, I was trying to complete my Math P-set, start my drafts for my art class and finish up all my readings half an hour ago, but i decided to write this first.

When Malaysians Curse...

Being brought up in a country where everyone must learn the same 2 languages - English and Malay - through elementary and high school, I learned two languages that are not my mother tongue and since my family speaks Chinese to me, i am trilingual. When we, Malaysians, curse to each other, (and since we know that the person - we want to scold - understands cursing words of other languages) we tend to use as many languages as possible to curse and scold people in quarrels (especially around 7th and 8th grade). Curses will easily be trilingual - if not 'quadru'lingual - because English and Malay are bound to be in it; If one is a Chinese, then Chinese words will be spilled out and if the person in an Indian, then Indian cursing words will be out. It's funny how everyone knows the cursing language of another language in Malaysia. Even Malays will know what it means by "Suni" and "Kunji" or "Tiu" and "Lanciao". Sorry for the vulgar words...

I find it really hilarious - now that i'm looking at it from an outsider's view.

A Package from Home

I should say that the package was disappointing because i expected more than what was shipped to me. At the very least, my family should have sent me "ba gua" (dried and salted pork slices) or my favorite cookie, the "ghee cookie" (made from goat's milk). Besides that, half of the content of the package (especially the cookies and chips) were crushed into tiny bits by the time they reach my dorm.

Since i'm talking about food, i might as well talk about my discussions on durian with my friends here; It's hard to believe how people who are not brought up in Southeast Asia will have such an abhorrence (yes, it's that bad) on durian while people who are brought up in Southeast Asia (like me, and my Malaysian friends and my family) love it so much. A friend of mine here told me he puked when he ate one "ulas" of the durian and another friend told me that her experience with durian was so bad that it smelled like "something 10 times worse than laundry and garbage".

I'm Proud of My School and I'm Boasting About It

The University Of Chicago

1. Has the highest number of Nobel Laureates affiliated to the University in USA (2nd in he world after Cambridge)
2. Super Strong Econ Department (THE BEST!!!) with Nobel Laureates teaching -not only the graduate levels but the- undergraduate advance Econ courses.
3. Has the nation's (and probably the world's) 2nd hardest math course i.e. Honors Analysis (Math 207) after Harvard's Math 55. No, i can't and won't take this course.
4. It's students (a group of students from Chile called "The Chicago Boys") have revived Chile's economy by introducing and practicing the "Chicago's Economy"
5. There are so many Econ Prize winners that i'm not even going to mention them but we are good in other fields too. Take for instance Physics; Prof. Nambu just won a Nobel Prize last year and Prof. Witten, winner of the American Physic Society Prize, is teaching the undergraduate.
6. Has the best business school in the world (according to some rankings). In rankings which Chicago's business school does not top the chart, it will still be in the top 5.